---Leave the lawnmower running in your living room six hours a day for proper noise level.

---Buy a rubbish compactor and only use it once a week. Store up garbage in the other side of your bathtub.

---Have a fluorescent lamp installed on the bottom of your coffee table and lie under it to read books.

---Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills on your front and back doors so that you either trip over the threshold or hit your head on the sill every time you pass through one of them.

---Once a month take every major appliance completely apart and then put them back together.

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